Psychic College

Some of you know that I am attending classes at San Francisco's own psychic college, Psychic Horizons, on Valencia Street (right around the corner from my office). They offer meditation classes which teach you how to center and ground, as well as clean chakras and auras. In the break room on Sunday, someone mentioned that 80-90% of people come to the school through the recommendation of former students. However, I am in the 10% (as usual) because I knew no one who had ever been to the school when I started coming.

One gray summer morning in 2004, while tripping through Dolores Park with friends Angie and Danny, after having just enjoyed a nice brunch in the Castro, I came upon Psychic Horizons for the first time. We were on our way back to our respective homes in the Mission but paused to investigate a little fair going on in the dog run area. I was still new to the city and thus, constantly delighted to discover that San Franciscan's love a good street fair, second only to their s love of a good street party--both kind of public revelry happen here in greater abundance than anywhere else I have ever lived in my life (Boston, Ohio, D.C., New York, or Portland).

Booths and stalls from local organizations were advertising programs for renewable energy and prenatal yoga classes, but one sign in particular caught my eye: "Psychic Readings $5". We three looked at each other, and as it was a lazy Sunday in NorCal, decided to go for it. We put our names down, threw $5 into a little basket, and then waited to be called by one of the student readers. In the meantime, Angie and I wandered over to the AIDS Ride SF booth, and got sucked into the enthusiasm of that challenge. We signed up for the AIDS ride and even paid $75 to register (we did start training, but didn't end up going on the ride). Then, my name was called and I found myself sitting in front of a woman in her late 30's with long blond hair.

She told me she was going to read my aura, then perform a healing upon me, and asked if I had anything I wanted her to focus on. I asked to focus on my love life issues and she closed her eyes. After a few minutes she spoke to me and began to tell me what she was seeing by reading my aura. She saw things from my past life affecting me, issues with my parents that had come up recently, and negative thought patterns I was stuck in. Much of it rang true for me, and I surprised myself when, as she told me about a past life when I was a farmer and had been tragically widowed by my true love, my eyes started leaking tears unexpectedly. I was still wiping them away when I returned back to Angie and Danny to compare notes.

We each had a different student reading our auras and consequently, had very different experiences. My reading was quite intense, with sad past life stories. Angie has a passion for fashion, although she was not decked out in one of her usual crazy outfits that day, and was working at a costume shop at the time. Nevertheless, her psychic lady told her that she had been a famous and prolific fashion designer in Italy during the Rococo period, which was exciting for Angie to learn. Danny did not have a good reading and claimed the woman was making it all up. As we continued on our way, I marveled that I lived in such a city where psychic readings were handed out for free on the street.

It wasn't until years later, at the end of January 2006, just weeks after my best friend Tucker had been tragically killed in a bicycle accident, that I had my second encounter with the psychics. Many people had been in town for the funeral and burial, staying with me. It was Saturday, a week after the funeral and I had just said good-bye and put the last friend, Natalie, on the train for the airport. She was flying back to New York and suddenly I was alone for the first time in weeks. Forever. Forever alone without Tucker.

I had scheduled an eye doctor appointment awhile ago and decided to keep it, as it would be something for me to do. However, I soon came to believe it was a terrible idea as I sat in the doctor's office answering her routine questions. I never mentioned Tucker because the occasion never arose and it was the first time I had spoken with anyone without mentioning it since it happened. The doctor was very nice but I wanted to scream at her "I'm not a normal person! I'm going through a personal tragedy! I have been marked out for suffering!" But instead, I just said yes when she asked if it would be ok to dilate my pupils. Blind and weeping, I stumbled out of her office an hour later, back into the hustle and bustle of Mission street.

The eye store was a block away from my office, so instinct lead me up to Valencia street and I crossed the street in a daze. Being around people felt unbearable and I kept thinking about the strange experience Natalie and I had shared the night before. I had been reading her tarot cards in my room when the curtain string had started moving of it's own accord. The air was still, there was no draft, and the anchor of the cord banged distinctly against my wall three times. Natalie had looked terrified, "It's the wind," I told her. "There is no wind." She replied and all the hair on my body stood up.

What was that? I kept wondering. Was it Tucker trying to communicate with us? What was happening to me? I felt like I was losing my mind. What had happened to her? Where had she gone? I needed to know. Suddenly, my vision cleared long enough for me to make out the words of a sign being taken down off of a door "Free Psychic Readings Today".

"Are the psychic readings still happening?" I asked the woman who was holding the sign.

"They are just about to end."

"I need one now!" I shouted and ran up the stairs to the psychic college.

"You are the last one!" The woman shouted after me. Inside, there were a bunch of tired looking students sitting around eating snacks and I hastily wrote my name down on the list. "We have one more." Said the woman from downstairs who had emerged behind me. The students groaned but I didn't care, I needed my psychic healing. I was ushered into a room and two sat down in front of me and closed their eyes. They asked me what my question was and I told them that my friend had died suddenly and I wanted to know where she was and if she was ok. They told me that she had died in a car accident and was very shocked but she knew now that she is dead.

"She is doing fine," they said. "She is more concerned for you and everyone else in so much pain right now. She used to fear death greatly but now she thinks that's funny, because death is nothing to fear." I cried the whole time they talked, but the psychic ladies didn't seem to notice or care. They were very matter of fact and not sentimental about anything they were saying. The reading was only 20 minutes but they said I could come back for a longer session if I wanted at another time.

During the months of grieving that followed, I did return, twice actually, although it wasn't free, cost about $30. Each time they performed a healing on my aura at the end and I always left feeling better than when I came in. This was during a time when feeling better seemed like an impossible task, I felt like I was struggling to pull myself up out of a well of sadness that was trying to swallow me whole. However, just like everyone said it would, things slowly got better and my mind adjusted to the idea of living on earth without my friend. Even though immediately after she died the idea that I could ever adjust to such an unjust tragedy was repugnant to me.

I got rejected from every grad school I applied to but decided that didn't mean I still couldn't take classes. So this year, after the one year anniversary of Tucker's death, I decided I wanted to try one of their meditation classes. I have to say that so far it's one of the coolest things I've ever done. I now meditate everyday before I leave the house and whenever I have a free minute, like on the bus or in the dentists office. It makes time pass much quicker and the most amazing thing is that I really want to meditate!

I am in Step 2, and after step 3, they are 7 week classes, I can begin their 18 month clairvoyant training if I want. They believe that everyone has this ability, it just has to be cultivated, like anything, through practice. At the end of the training, I will be a minister through their church, the Church of Natural Grace, and be able to read other people's auras and communicate with spirits. Sounds a little scary but mostly awesome. Also, I can officiate weddings and funerals.

Being uncomfortable with organized religion, I don't like the title of minister. However, I am a spiritual person and when I was young, I was super pissed that I couldn't be an alter girl. So perhaps if I had been born in another time, gender, or to a different religion, I would have felt "called to God". I do feel called to God now too, but I'm pagan, so worshipping God to me is going into nature or meditating or now that I live in the Bay Area, hanging out around a bonfire with a bunch of hippies on a beach at solstice.

Growing up in a haunted house, I have always been really afraid of ghosts but I am learning to work through that and other fears. Getting rejected from grad school was super shitty and a blow to my ego, but I feel like I am supposed to be in San Francisco right now and I think this is one of the reasons. I am so glad that I decided to sign up for classes at the psychic college.