The Twilight of My Intellect

I had all sorts of academically virtuous plans for my winter break which included reading a bunch of books on the craft of writing. But the holidays hit, bringing the inevitable hysterical breakdown, so I decided I needed a break. Since I am still the age of an adolescent girl emotionally, I knew the Twilight series would be for me. I have been loving me some vampire tales since before I could even pronounce the words repressed sexuality.

Just as Interview with the Vampire was considered a metaphor for the AIDS crisis in the 1980s, Twilight has been dubbed Mormon abstinence porn. I was enjoying it until the vampires exited stage left in the second book. Now I'm afraid to go back to school because I'm afraid Stephanie Meyer has destroyed my will to write anything other than passionate tales of unrequited love happening to improbably beautiful and skinny teen-age girls. Just like my childhood (giggle, giggle).