Damning the Man, Uplifting the Mamas

Oh, Abby. I know it's been said a million times before, but she has the prettiest, curly, red hair ever. She looks like the Little Mermaid, which is one of my ultimate favorite childhood movies. I got upset that she wouldn't wear her luscious locks down when we went to the Mermaid Day parade (which mostly features low riders) at Coney Island one hot June day. This is Abby with a shiner she earned delivering a baby. Exactly who kicked her in the face is still unclear.

Besides being a fierce feminist and crazy smart, Abby is impressive because she remains the only person I know who was in a long lasting polyamorous relationship. A few years ago, Aleah and I created an official queer organization (the name escapes me now) just so we could bestow her with a "best new recruit" certificate.

Did I happen to mention she's one of those annoying people who are book smart and really artsy crafy? However, I can't hate her for it, cause she sends me homemade cookies and handmade cards every Valentines Day. Once she even sent them inside a tin she spray painted with stars that says "Weasel" on it. I am super psyched to visit her in Shytown this summer!


How do you know Mel?
antioch/sharing b.f.f. aleah

Where did you grow up, where do you live now and where have you lived in between?
the early years: newton mass.

currently: chicago.

uhhh: cape cod mass, yellow springs oh, seattle wa, roamed around south america, burlington vt, st pete beach fl, san francisco, new haven ct, loitered in northampton mass, tucson az, north county san diego, in my car, chicago il

Where is the best place you have ever lived?
in the attic of a shed north of san diego. i had a pomegranate tree in my yard.

Where did you go to school and what did you study?
i went to antioch and studied biochemistry cause i am a nerd. then i went to nursing school at yale and studied midwifery

Why did you choose those area of focus and institutions?
i went to antioch cause i was dating a homeless high school drop out and that's the only place he would go/got into and then i took science classes and fell in love with organic chemistry. later i went to yale cause i could get a degree in nursing and a masters in midwifery in 3 years. also cause i had no concept of debt and thought it was play money when i signed all those loan papers.

Did you have to write a thesis?
yep, but i called it a book report cause writing gives me anxiety

What was it about?
midwifery care of queer teens

What did you most enjoy learning?
besides organic chemistry? i guess the mentsrual cycle. like org chem, it leaves me in awe of nature.

What do you do now?
i hang out with pregnant ladies on the southwest side of chicago. i work for a community health center whose mission is to serve newly immigrated, undocumented latino families. these mamas are only eligible for medicaid while pregnant, so there is a lot of healthcare to squeeze into 10 months.

What did you want to do with your degree?
damn the man by uplifting the ladies.

What are the biggest challenges/rewards of your job?
the challenges: loss of sleep, the frequency with which i have to deal with machismo, chlamydia-spreading, partner abusing men, bureaucracy, the depth of sadness of peoples' lives

the rewards: being the first one to hold a slimy little newborn when it comes into the world, helping women, especially the little teen mamas, understand their bodies and take control of their fertility, free pens, helping women gestate and birth without anyone telling them there is something inherently wrong with their bodies and they need technology to fit it.

Why is it important for queers to be health care providers?
it is still so often scary and intimidating for people seeking healthcare to deal with the medical machine. people are vulnerable and embarassed and don't want to feel judged, but the status quo maintains a pretty intense power dynamic. i find that people will often seek out providers that they feel they have something in common with, and i hope that that helps dispell some of that perceived, or acutal, power.

Why are midwives important?
midwives try to take the technology and pathology of women's bodies and phases of life.

How many babies have you delivered?
as of this morning, 103.

Is it more glamorous or gross to participate in the birthing process?
never glam, especially when you are plucking poop from an engorged anus. but on occasion, beautiful beyond words.

Do women need to reclaim healthcare?
yes. please read "witches, nurses and midwives"

Our bodies/ourselves?
indubitably

If you could have any job, what would it be?
either a gardener, or a tailor, or a welder. i like to keep my hands busy. or maybe a CEO of a non-profit, i am kind of bossy.

Why do you want to have children?
professionally, so i have some credibility with my patients. personally, because i want to eat ice cream for 10 months, have an enormous belly with a squirming fetus inside it and wear hippie sundresses, and then pop it out and breastfeed it for years. you get totally high off those hormones when the baby is on the titty.

Do you believe in gay marriage and why?
as much as i believe in straight marriage.

Where do you most want to travel next?
my ladyfriend and i are going to go visit her sister in cambodia in august.