New Gay For Today: She's a Visionary

How do you know the weasel?

I met the Weas sometime between 2001 + 2002. Our mutual friend, Tucker, had been singing the praises of the Weasel for as long as we'd known each other, so there was a big build up. Lots of pressure! But we didn't become soul sisters until we were thrown together in the experience of losing Tucker + mourning her death. As such, our friendship is a magical rising phoenix.

Where did you grow up, where do you live now and where have you lived in between?

I spent my first 18 years in Summerville, South Carolina. Back then it was a sleepy-on-the-brink-of-burgeoning town about 30 miles northwest of Charleston. I escaped as far away as I could for school out in Portland, OR. After graduating I spent three years in Chicago. I came back to soCar a little over 2 years ago because my mom's ovarian cancer treatments had gotten dangerously rough. By then the town of my wee days had become one giant strip mall with a ridiculous amount of development + the traffic to match. Now I live in Charleston, the closest thing to a city in these parts.

Where is the best place you have ever lived?

This is a tough question for me to answer. Something that I've considered pretty magical lately is that I've come to love each of the cities in which I've lived. Portland was infatuation at first sight. I felt that my Southern penance had finally paid off! Radical politics! Access to all kinds of culture + cultures! I jumped kind of blindly into Chicago... New York + SF were too pricey for me, + the City of Broad Shoulders seemed like a compromise. At first we were at odds, but the wily charm of that rough + tumble town got the best of me. Mmmm... The gritty give + take! My heart was ultra broken when I learned that I needed to move back to SC. But slowly [very slowly] I began to find solace in the bounty of Gaia here. Hermit time was healing for me. And miracles started happening + I met some amazing buddies! Charleston has a special place in my heart for demonstrating to me the heaps of magical opportunities out there that you don't get to see ahead of time.

What do you do for work?

I work at a local college library as the finance peon. I keep the books + pay the bills + write budget reports. Not what I saw myself doing, but the people I work with are special + kind, albeit kind of limited in scope. They can't say gay. They say, "like that." I'm working on them.

What do you feel most passionate about?

Right now I'm most interested in + excited about presence: really being in yourself + open to your experience during each moment, + being able to do that while interacting with other people. I'm passionate about sharing quality time. I'm super stoked on finding magic in everyday experiences + spending time with other people who have magic-vision.

I am predisposed to worrying a lot and freaking out about the future. Too many question marks. My dad died when I was 17. Losing Tucker and coming home to face the reality of my mother's terminal illness took place less than 3 months apart. The soul searching that I had to embrace when I moved to SC put me in touch with how important this moment is. This is the only moment we ever get! It just keeps moving through time with us! I want to spend as little time resisting + judging as possible.

But I think it warrants saying that I feel like personal dance parties, deafening laugh sessions + soul music sing-a-longs fall under the heading of "presence-oriented activities" for me. I am def passionate about all of those.

If you could have any job, what would it be?

Right now I'm tempted by the idea of being a grade school librarian/// media lab specialist. Paid summers off! But there are a lot of other "what if" bases to cover. I kind of need to see a psychic about that one... I want there to be some good ol' fashioned social justice work in there somewhere.

Why is feminism important to you?

I think the fact that I grew up in a place starved for Feminism has really shaped my relationship to its movements + its theory. Growing up here, I was the subject of a kind of genderization that you could probably see most other places in the country, it was just magnified. In my experience, the Lowcountry of South Carolina is between 7 and 15 years behind the rest of the country, politically and in some ways culturally [the 80's just got cool again here!]. Despite my parents’ comparatively liberal leanings, I was banned from a lot of experiences because I was a girl. And there weren't that many other people [if any] around in my neighborhoods + schools who were outraged by this, so the political environment was intensely isolating. But Feminism [and at the time, I had a vague second wave understanding of it] helped me keep the faith.

It wasn't until I got to a place where Feminism was a political assumption [ie not in a minority position] that I was able to experience some real empowerment in it. Feminism became a plan for embracing myself + the varied + various experiences of all kinds of women. I delight in the celebration of +++ respect for difference that Feminism encourages. It became a way for me to crystallize + articulate the anti-racist, anti-classist, ideals that I hold dear. I am a big proponent of the third wave + beyond ++ I spread the good word down here every chance I get. Celebrate!

How do you feel about gender?

When I was coming up in this wide world, my modes of gender expression did not jive with anyone else's. “If that's what it means to be a lady, am I really eligible for ladyhood?” At five I identified as male + wanted to go by Jack, but my folks couldn't hang. So all along the way, I was less than keen on this idea of binary gender identity + expression. Upon getting out to the Northwest, I embraced Queer politics whole-heartedly. I think it's really important to keep "troubling" cultural assumptions about gender. To me, gender at large is fluid + I delight in inhabiting it as such. I celebrate trannies in a way that maybe comes close to fetishization. I started a fan club in my heart for the first + only tranny dude I've met here. Don't tell.

Art?

The older I get the more I understand art + art making to be vital, soul-nurturing medicines. Art is the one of the keys to finding the magic, I think. Making art in your brain all the time out of what you see or what you have at hand. Art has also been a great community-building force in my recent soCar experiences. Collage night, anyone?

Do you have any pets?

Just Ernestine J. Pickles, the most precious mew of all time!

Can you explain your vision of Woman Town, how it came about, and who's allowed there?

The way the idea of Woman Town came to be + my vision of W-Town are two very separate things. My friend, Jimmy, + I were hanging out hootin' + hollerin' + having a real good kooky time together when our frolic was interrupted by a text message I received. This dude I'd hung out with dirty style a couple times had gotten in the habit of texting me for sex once or twice a week. I didn't like it. It was gross + so was he. My frustration + repulsion prompted me to break into song. "In Woman Town, Woman Town, there are no stupid dudes in Wo-oman Town!" I composed further verses that kind of led to the vision, for instance, "You don't have to have a vajayjay to live in Woman Town!" Jimmy chipped in [though not lady-identified, he is welcome, too], + Woman Town turned into this idyllic fantasy land in which kooky times free from bad politics were infinitely possible.

In the heartbreaking weeks that immediately followed Tucker's death, I shared the song of Woman Town with my close friends + they celebrated it. We added new verses to the song. The vision of Woman Town buoyed us when we needed some serious buoying. W-Town became a place in which all of our political + creative fantasies could be realized, a place immersed in Gaia + her celebration, a place for + about sharing knowledge, a nurturing + self-sustaining community. It is the place of dreams! But I think it's the kind of dream that can come to fruition in some capacity eventually. We've all made it in our hearts. We just gotta figure out how + when + where to make it a physical reality.

Do you really carry a salt shaker with you at all times?

I wish I could! I tried for a while, but it got too messy. But if there are any good portable salting devices out there, I'd be excited to hear about them. I do have a salt shaker collection, however....

How are you enjoying your first official lady love affair?

Very well, thank you! Yay! I am celebrating it to the max! My date is a very special + amazing person. I'm kind of bowled over by my luck.

It's funny to me--- the Weasel once dubbed me an honorary Queer. I've strongly identified with Queer politics for a long time, + I feel most comfortable in Queer-dominated/// Queer-friendly social situations. So I guess I secretly considered myself an honorary Queer before I started sleeping with a lady, in so much as I definitely didn't fully identify with/// as being Straight. Now it's officially official! Someone asked me if I felt like I was embracing + inhabiting a part of myself that was always there, but never really honored before. I feel that to be true more + more. But I must say it seems very comical to me that I couldn't really be in my gayness until I moved back to South Carolina. This is a very scary place to be Queer. +++ For the first time, my social group is pretty void of the Queers. There's not that in-person community, although my het pals here are supportive + celebratory. I'm not out at work yet, which is something I wrestle with + I'm not out with much of my family. So I'm enjoying my sexuality + celebrating it amidst some trepidations, navigating + growing into it one day at a time.

Why is radical community important to you?

I believe deeply in radical community, although I can't say that I've been very active on its behalf, outside of trying to maintain important discourses. I am excited by people creating spaces in which to vigorously challenge dominant cultures + the tenets therein. This is hard work + we have to keep on top of it all the time by questioning, "queering" + "troubling" pervasive ideas + assumptions. But the road to Woman Town is paved one stone at a time, you dig?

I am a little confused by the idea of Woman Town [or any other radical community] as a removed place, a community in the woods outside of all the nastiness of the regular American places. A part of me feels like we have to be visible + integrated into the regular American reality of everybody else in order to disrupt that reality + make a difference. Maybe in W-Town we'll teach other people crafts + trades + skills. But I think that shared knowledge should be accessible to people who can't pay to drive out into the woods. I think that Woman Town should work to challenge the way accessibility typically works. That's radical, right? But probably the first steps involve fully embracing + enacting a radical W-Town sensibility, identifying how we can each build community locally + bring some Woman Town out of our hearts + into this real life mess, + identifying + acting upon Possibilities with a capital P. Gotta figure out how to walk that walk.

What kind of amazing things do you like to show visitors when they come to town? (So I have things to look forward to!)

Ooooo! Weasel, you are in for a treat! Charleston, SC is a crazy place. I hate how it's lifeblood is tourism, but this shit is real + I think people need to see it [Our country was built on + by the labor of enslaved peoples. The economic disparity down here is out of control. These are things you might be able to avoid thinking about when you visit other places, but not here.] Where doing's concerned, I like to take folks on the harbor tour, to the beaches, to the swamp, to eat the tasty local treats, to take long walks + to hang out with my family. Regarding the showing, I like to make sure people see some of the sobering history + to show people how the South is an incredibly in your face microcosm of the rest of our land.