What I'm Not Going to Miss

Here is an exercise, or a challenge, for the brave of heart: quit your job...but then continue to work there. Then report back and let me know if each day feels like a unique form of torture in a nether world.

I am an anarchist, because I believe that heirarchy is a form of coercion. I am not denying it can be a useful method at times, but I think people with power have always been afraid of anarchy because you can't make people do what they don't want to do. An anarchist society would have to be structured to facilitate the meeting of our needs and exploration of our desires and passions. Sounds good to me.

I used to think that if I worked in a social justice non-profit, I would walk to work skipping and humming a happy tune. Instead it's harder and harder to motivate myself to come to work these days, what with the ants crawling all over the bathroom, including on the toilet seat; screaming homeless people on the steps each morning; and large clusters of flies on the sidewalk.

Now that I am no longer compelled to perform out of fear of the future job evaluation, it's really hard to motivate. Oh, did I mention there is practically no structure or oversight in my office. I could spend 4 days of the week staring out the window, as long as I was able to get all my work done in that final day. Doesn't work though, cause lawyers like to leave early on Fridays.

Sure, I want to get good refrences when I leave, but I think I've sealed that deal. So what more is there? Lots of course. I still love protests and activists and undermining the FBI and INS and defending human rights and civil liberties but (and maybe this is seriously fucked up in light of all my privledge) the thrill is gone. I have been here for 4 years and I'm ready to move on.

There are so many things I am going to miss about SF and I'm sure I'll have lots of nostalgia for this job, but it's hard to have your feet in two worlds. Makes me feel far away and kinda dizzy.