Bringing Sexy Back

Urban Dictionary is often racist, but the concept is good: what are the youth talking about and how can we understand them? The following are code words and phrases that my friends and I hope to popularize (yes, I know we are no longer youth).

Why would we need to speak in code as friends? Because somethings are so painful, we can't bear to say the actual words, but need our friends to know.

Batik Pantsuit: When you think your hair looks good, but really you look like an aging lesbian attempting to be hip.

A: What do you think of my new haircut?

B: Honestly? Batik Pantsuit.

Purple Peacock: When your friend uhauls it with someone and you think they could do much better. Used for emergency situations and well in advance of gay weddings. The beauty of this is that you don't even have to say the words, you can just draw a picture.

A: Guess what? Jess and I are talking about moving in together!

B: Oh my god. Purple peacock! Purple peacock! Purple peacock!

Booty Hound: When you are so crazy for the booty that you will chase it far and wide (e.g. flying across the country for a long weekend).

Ass Clown: When you are so crazy for the booty that you make an ass of yourself.

A: Did you see her trying to get up on Natalie at the party last night?

B: Yeah, what an ass clown.