Hurts So Good

My 30th birthday presents just keep rolling in, and I say: bring it. This weekend I got two awesome gifts, a thai massage from my father and an original song by Eleza.

My nickname in high school was Lolo, and Eleza wrote and recorded a song for me to the tune of the Knicks song Lola. I almost cried when I heard it, but instead I had to dance alone in my tv room and imagine Eleza rocking out with me, her long curly hair flying all around as we head banged.

One of my favorite lyrics is about the first time I took Eleza to Grand Opening (now Good Vibes) when it was in the arcade building of College Corner:

Well she brought me to the fun toy store
and I'd never been liberated before
But Lolo smiled, took me by the hand
And said I'm going to show you the joys of being a woman!

After the recording, the guy who played guitar for Eleza, asked "So what's the fun toy store?" Classic. I love the song, I love that it's originally about trannies, and most of all I love Eleza and I think she's a genius with a very pretty voice.


The thai massage also brought tears to my eyes, but in a different way. My friend Erika and I met at Suchada, in bizarre part of Soma, where we were greeted with hot tea that tasted like corn husks. We were ushered into a long room divided into small womb like sections by heavy maroon drapes. We agreed it was what we always imagined a harem would be like. They give you loose clothes, Erika described as "sexy maternity outfits" to change into.

I was lying face down when my massage therapist came in, so I didn't see her face nor realized that I was at least 8 inches taller than her until later. She asked me what I wanted her to focus on and I said "shoulders and hips". I didn't know that I had just given her license to pound away with her elbows on my back, twist and turn me like a pretzel and then finally, mount me in the missionary position while pushing on one leg. It was crazy.

That tiny lady beat the crap out of me. At one point, I was sitting up, and she sat behind me and suddenly her feet were walking up my back. She used her entire body to give the massage and it was awesome. I'm covered in bruises, but it was just what I have always wanted a massage to be and I want to go back. 30 is a good year so far.