On Such A Winter's Day

My friend Jimmy is a poet. Well he self describes as a performance artist/musician but every time he opens his mouth, poetry spills forth. Here is a quote from his piece about America's Next Top Hand Model:

I want millions of babies to fall out of my vagina,
like skittles from the rainbow.

That's art right there. Along with the skittles, another concept Jimmy explored as his last show has been haunting me: What do you dream about when you live in California?

One night, during my drinking days, Ethan and I got really wasted and went to the Cafe. There was a big long line so I tried to blend into a crowd of men and women reentering. They all had stamps on their hands and I didn't, so they stopped me.

"But you're letting all the straight people in for free!" I shouted (I had no idea the true sexual identity of the people in the group). "Isn't this supposed to be a gay bar?"

Because I was making a big fuss, they put me at the front of the line and demanded to see my ID. Then they started patting me down. I didn't know this had become standard practice for Hip Hop night (yes I was belligerently drunk in public on a Monday), so I became irate. "What are you doing? Checking for all my guns?"

The bouncer glared at me and as he gave back my Massachusetts license said loudly:
"She's from Boston, this is what they're all like there."

Not one to take hometown insults lying down I said "Yeah, but now I live in California, land of dreams!" and scampered up the stairs.

I was sipping a Malibu and pineapple indignantly when Ethan found me. "Can you believe how mean the people at the door are?"

"You are so badly behaved!" Was all he would say. At the time, I couldn't believe he took their side.

But it's a real issue, because when I was little I lived in Boston and dreamed of moving to California, where it would be warm and sunny all the time. But when I finally got to San Francisco, I found it terribly cold and gray in the summer. I've lived here for four years and am a little afraid to find myself dreaming of grad school.