Just Give Me a Degree Already

I am reapplying to grad school and the process has me in a near paralyzed state of panic. For those not familiar with my record, this is my 3rd time applying to grad schools, and hopefully it will be the charm. The first time I applied to one school, the MFA film program at SFSU, and got it but declined to go. The second time, last year, I applied to 14 MFA in creative writing programs and got rejected from ALL of them. Ouch. It hurt, it stung, it burn and most of all, it crushed my ego. But if I really want to be a writer, I have to suck it up. So sucking I am, but the whole thing freaking stinks.

First off, I am working on refining my 40 page writing sample while at the same time trying to stay on top of the letters of rec, transcripts, GRE, personal statement and scholarship applications. Oh, and did I mention my demanding non-profit job that makes me work many nights and weekends during the fall? Yeah, don't forget about that. It all feels like too much and part of me just wants to give up and say fuck you to Cornell (its cold as hell up there anyway!) and all the other big name schools and just apply to SFSU again. That way I can keep my nice gay life here in S.F. and still get to go to grad school. But my therapist is encouraging me to hang in there, so I am trying.